should i have sex with someone i met online?

What is safe to put up your bum

A reader has a question about putting a marker pen up his bum. I say, ‘please don’t, it’s not safe.’

hi,my name is L*** and im a 14 yr old boy and like masterbation. Sometimes i like to get a little bit kinky, one of the ways is anal penetration, but i am not gay, i like girls but i guess i’m just curious on how it feels to them. I use a marker pen to use instead of you know what it’s has no sharps edges etc. What length in size and diameter should i get that maximises the pleasure and safe for penetration. and a serious question if a e.g 14 yr old boy had a condom and had sex with a girl is it safe, thank you

Like with all questions I get, I’ll treat both questions seriously and give you a proper answer.

It’s fine to be into masturbation and it’s fine to enjoy anal penetration (for whatever reason). But, please don’t put a marker pen up your bum. As I’ve discussed here and here, marker pens aren’t safe to use in the vagina but they are also really not safe to use up your arse. Why? Because you can lose it up there. True story.

The anus has very strong muscles surrounding the opening (sphincter) and the colon. Ever tried holding a fart in? Imagine how strong those muscles are, you’re holding gas inside you. When things are inserted into the anus these really strong muscles can suck things in. And because of these muscles that are strong enough to hold a fart in, anything that is sucked up there can be hard to get out. Add to this that you need some kind of lubrication to get a thing in your anus, and that your hands might be slippery, this means it would be highly likely you would have a marker pen stuck up your arse.

This is why when people use sex toys in their arse they should use ones designed for their arse. Sex toys for arses are very smooth all the way around and have a flared base which stops it from getting sucked inside you. So please don’t use a marker pen up your arse.

only things designed to be inserted in the anus should be inserted in the anus

Many people really enjoy this kind of anal stimulation and can have really intense orgasms, but make sure you’re doing it safely. You’d be much better off using fingers. Make sure you trim your nails and use some kind of lubricant (ideally lubricant). The arse is pretty resilient but the skin tissue can be torn around that area quite easily (another reason not to use a marker pen). So go slowly and if you feel any pain stop. Also wash your hands straight after.

As for your ‘serious’ question, condoms massively reduce your risk of unplanned pregnancy or STIs. More about condoms here. In the UK it’s not legal to have any kind of sex at the age of 14, but if you and your partner are a similar age and it is clearly consensual and you are in some kind of relationship then the Police are unlikely to prosecute. More on this here.

© Justin Hancock, 2016


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