Humping a Pillow, Is It Normal?

“How I masturbate is by humping a pillow, is it normal though?” Read more for top advice and statistics on pillow humping.

“When i feel really horny i masturbate, but how i masturbate is by humping a pillow. See most people or girls masturbate by using their finger.. But when i tried it, it doesn’t make me feel “horny” well i’m uncomfortable with it and i’m more of a “humping pillow” person. Alright so this is my question. Is it normal? Because honestly i feel weird like i’m not like other girls who masturbate with their finger “in a normal way” so is it actually normal?”

Hi hi

Thanks for your excellent question. Hopefully my answer will help you and all the other people who are worried about this too.

The word ‘normal’ is a very big word to me, and means lots of different things to different people. So I’m going to break the word down into three different meanings and use that to answer your question.

Is it normal like, how many people do it?

The only research that I could find looking at the different ways that people masturbate was the Hite Report written in 1976. The report found that 73% masturbated with their hands/fingers and that 4% of them masturbated like you do. So if the report is still true today, then yes, only a small minority of women masturbate like you do.

But let’s say that over half of the world’s women masturbate reasonably regularly (as this study suggests), then I reckon that around 60 million women regularly masturbate like you do. I think if 60 million people are doing it then it sounds pretty ‘normal’ to me.

I mean, honestly, we don’t know how many people masturbate like you. It might be a lot more than 60 million. People are often not really honest with each other when they talk about sex. One of the reasons for this is that people are really worried about being ‘normal’ so they will say that they are doing something ‘normal’ even though they don’t actually (even if what they were doing was totally normal #normal).

Here are some stats on why people don’t always enjoy ‘normal’ sex

And because we don’t get taught very much about masturbation, we just think that whatever is considered normal is how we should do it. I reckon there will be a lot of people reading this article thinking ‘oh, humping a pillow, I didn’t know that was a thing’ and then might actually try it.

Is it normal as in, is it safe?

Yup. So long as you don’t rub so hard that you damage your skin. Also if you are worried about the health of your pillow, you might want to put a soft towel against it in case it gets really wet.

Is it normal as in, is this just generally okay?

Yeah it’s okay to masturbate this way. Everyone has their own thoughts and views about masturbation, and I’m not going to tell you what to think about that. But the act of humping a pillow is totally chill and something that people really like. There are some really nice quotes from 1976 about how people did this and how much they enjoyed it, just click on the Hite Report and scroll down to page 92 (some of it is a bit sexy, so you might want to read that in private).

The truth is that everybody’s body is different and works in different ways. You might like the softer sensation of the pillow, rather than using your finger. You might also like the way that the pillow presses against your whole vulva rather than just one specific spot. You might also like that you can thrust against it and that your whole body is involved. Some people like that it’s a bit more active for them. Think about what it’s doing for you. Imagine that you were being interviewed about it in 1976, what might you say?

How to Enjoy Solo Sex

The thing with sex is that you’re just allowed to like what you like. Society comes up with words like ‘normal’ to try to stop people liking what they like, but actually, in private, people can just do whatever they like (so long as it’s consensual, ethical, and safe). So try to forget about the word ‘normal’ and instead try to just like what you like and keep humping your pillow. Even if your pillow doesn’t like it.

Comment below if you like. I moderate all comments before they appear, just so you know!

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© Justin Hancock, 2024 Find out more about me and BISH here.

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I’ve been a sex and relationships educator since 1999 (with a background in youth and community work). In that time I’ve taught and given advice about sex and relationships with thousands of young people in person and millions online. I’ve worked with many charities, local governments, schools and youth organisations facilitating training and workshops. My two books, Enjoy Sex (How, When, and If You Want To) and Can We Talk About Consent? are widely available around the world. I’ve been on the telly and the radio and have written articles for newspapers and magazines. I’m also a member of the World Association for Sexual Health. Read more about me and BISH here. Find out about my other work here Justin Hancock

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