Ask Bish - Your Sex and Relationships Questions Answered

Ask Bish Lasting Longer

Lots of people want to last longer. There tips on that here but also advice on why it doesn’t matter.

Hi, I saw your video on how to last longer and tried many of the techniques showed a while back. I find that it does help but only for a couple of seconds before I almost ejaculate again. The result is me stopping every seconds, pleasuring with my hands or tongue and getting back inside my partner which I find rather annoying. I want to last long during penetration, it bugs me more than my partner who claims to be satisfied but I am not. I also don’t know If I can consider myself premature or not since it always depends on the speed of the movements. Can you please help me further on this? Thank you


Thanks for your question.

As you mention there are some tips for lasting longer at sex which you can find here. I’m not going to repeat the advice that I’ve given there cos you know, it would be boring. Most guys who want to last longer don’t have ‘premature ejaculation’.

However I would like to try to get you to think about sex differently ok?

You need to remember this at all times: sex doesn’t have to end when you cum. When guys cum (ejaculate), they usually experience a drop in their sexual arousal which lasts for a few minutes: many guys say that this ‘refractory period’ lasts for 10 – 30 minutes. The vast majority of guys find they lose their erections after a while and need to take a break. However this doesn’t mean that sex is over if you’re doing it with another person because you don’t need a hard penis to have great sex.

If your partner is saying he/she is satisfied then you should believe her/him. It’s great that you are thinking about pleasing your partner with your hands or tongue, but are you doing that at the expense of enjoying the sex for yourself? Why not focus on enjoying it for yourself. Sex isn’t something that one person does to another: you are both doing each other. It will be hot for your partner to feel and watch you enjoy the sex as much as she/he is enjoying it. It’s not common for people to climax at the same time (despite what happens in almost every Hollywood sex scene).

Just always remember that sex doesn’t have to end when you cum. You referred to your (no doubt expert) hands and tongue: use them after you’ve cum and maybe your partner will have an orgasm. It still counts, you don’t get bonus points from making someone orgasm with your penis (if you’re having sex with a female then you should know that most can’t orgasm from just penis in vagina sex anyway).

Keep doing that for a few minutes and who knows, you may get another erection (the good news is that many guys find that it takes them longer to ejaculate second time around) or you might not. The point is that your partner and you will be enjoying having sex with each other.

Hope this helps



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