Can You Help BISH?
This website is mostly read by young folk (it’s most popular with teens and twenty somethings) who are looking for some top notch advice and information for themselves. However, I also know that there are a few fans of BISH who are here because they are teachers, or academics, or activists, peer sex educators, or parents. So this one is for them. Thanks for coming and I hope you find BISH helpful, but can you also help me?
What Is Sex?
This guide to ‘what is sex’ aims to answer the most frequently asked questions about sex in a simple and short way (although yeah, the whole article is like an essay). I’ve tried to define what each thing is and then give some pointers for how to do them more consensually and safely.
I Feel Like I Have to Have Sex to Make Him Happy
“My boyfriend always wants sex and I feel like I have to have sex to make him happy, it’s not like he makes me do it I choose to but I feel like I’m letting him down if I don’t. I’m 14 he’s 15”
Consent: Real Talk Among Yourselves
Are you sick of being lectured in your Sex Ed? Bish is here to help with these cards for you to share and have that consent real talk with your mates
Lack of Pleasure from Sex
We might think that everyone else is enjoying sex more than us, but they’re not. Many people have a lack of pleasure from sex, even if they like solo sex.
How Do I Go On Top?
To go on top without hurting their penis it’s a good idea to make sure that the penis is pretty hard. Then guide it in with your hand. Move slowly at first rather than bouncing up and down like you’re on a trampoline. Then keep checking in with them during sex that it’s comfortable, noticing their body language, facial expressions and how they might guide you with their hands and words. More detail below (obvs).
The Video Guide to Being a Man
Here is the video guide to being a man. I also have a blog post about this but a lot of people prefer my boring voice for some weird reason.
How to Show Her I Care (after I forced her to have sex)
Here’s advice to a guy who wants to show someone he cares for her even though he forced her to have sex. CN – talks about rape but there are no descriptions of anything.
I’ve Been Raped, Will I Ever Enjoy Sex?
So obviously this post talks about rape but also about painful sex and potentially abusive relationships. Do take care if you want to read this.
The History of Penis in Vagina as Default Sex
Read this fascinating article on the history of penis in vagina sex and why it is seen as the only kind of ‘proper sex’ – an awesome guest post by Dr Eleanor Janega.
Does a Condom Kill the Mood?
Why does using a condom kill the mood and why I think that this is actually a good thing?
What You Say About Bish
Eagle-eyed readers will know that I have a short survey that people can fill in to tell me about what they think about the website. I’ve had a few responses since I relaunched the website (mostly from the youngs). Here is representative sample of the kinds of things people have been saying.
Who do you follow on social media
So you know how there are people who are famous on social media, like: Instagram, YouTube, Twitter, MySpace, Bebo, etc? Well, a lot of these people are famous in talking about sex, relationships, sexuality, gender, which is obviously what we’re all about here at BISH.
Talking About Talking
One of the most basic bits of relationships advice that literally everyone will give you is that communication is vital.
:slow handclaps emoji:
How to Choose a Chocolate Bar
It can hard working out what we want, particularly from sex. Read this about how to choose a chocolate bar. I it might help you have better sex.
Note – this is all about choosing food, so if you are struggling with how you feel about food at the minute give this a miss. Also this might not be great for you if choosing things is something you struggle with a lot.
Have your say about relationships and sex education – (make it better)
14 – 18 year olds! Have your say about relationships and sex education in the UK in this really quick survey. You have until Sunday 18th February to get your answers to me, so be fast!
Why Do I Have Vaginal Discharge All The Time?
Why do I always have vaginal discharge all the time. I’m only 15.and whenever I go to the toilet my knickers are always soaking wet, please help me, because I’m worried about it. It has a bit of an odour too.
Stretch Marks From My Growth Spurt
I’m 14 and I got stretch marks from my growth spurt on my back and I don’t know how people will react. None of the other guys have stretch marks is there a way of reducing their visibility?
Genitals — The Bish Guide to Your Bits
Your genitals are unique, as you can see in these drawings (by the most excellent Stuart F. Taylor). Warning, genital drawings ahead!
Make That University Long Distance Relationship Work
The university long distance relationship can be a hard one to maintain — but it’s totally possible. Ask each other these super real questions to help you.
Mates Before Dates
You might be familiar with the idea of mates before dates but you probs call it something else (yeah I’m not using those terms). But basically it’s a reminder to a friend (mate) that they are spending too much time with a romantic person (date) and not enough with them. I think this is actually really great advice.
What’s Your Gender?
If you’ve had some basic AF sex education you might have been taught that there are only two sexes and two genders. Wrong. Sex and Gender is a lot more complicated than that.
Should Men Last Longer At Sex?
A lot of men who have sex with women ask me about lasting longer, but should they? There are better things that men can be doing to help women enjoy sex more.
Relationship Negotiation
People aren’t really used to the idea of relationship negotiation (apart from maybe in politics) but I think it’s super important in romantic relationships too.
Make First Time Sex Better
People often say that first time sex with someone (ever, or someone new), is always a bit rubbish, uncomfortable or even painful. None of this is true (especially the bit about sex being painful for the first time).
How To Be Attractive
Here’s some advice for anyone who is struggling with feeling attractive, which includes any incel readers I may have. Don’t worry, I’m not going to yell at you or give you a bollocking. Here’s my best advice instead.
(Sidenote — this stuff is not easy. I know that many of you have tried some of these things. I can’t guarantee that this advice will get you laid, but I can guarantee that it will make your life a bit easier.)
How to Feel Better About Your Body
Read this carefully if you are struggling with your body at the minute, hopefully you might find it helpful but it might also be difficult. The whole thing is about how we feel about our bodies but I don’t go into any detail about weight, diets or anything like that.
Being Friends Board Game
Play the Being Friends Board Game on your phones with your pals and learn how to be a good and nice friend along the way (whilst also showing that you are better than them).
How To Seduce Someone
For hundreds of years people have been looking for advice on how to seduce someone. Here’s the best advice.
Consent and Sex – Can You Help?
Here’s a consent and sex guide that I’ve made for social medias. Can you help me share it?
#MeToo – Some Useful Things That Men Can Do
This ones for the menz, the blokes, the lads, the fellas, the mandems, the guys, the chaps etc.
Help, I’m Being Slut Shamed
Advice for someone who is being slut shamed at school. A must read if you like to gossip about people or judge people for their sex lives. (Another long one, sorry about that)
***this post mentions some non-consensual sex***
Why do people have sex?
So this is some homework for you. Think about all of the different reasons that people might have sex with someone (though solo sex totally counts as sex too). I’ve listed a few things below but just spend a few minutes thinking about all the reasons.
What’s Your Sexuality?
There are lots of different kinds of sexualities out there but how do you work out your sexuality? Well, like most things, it’s complicated.
Does He Still Like Me?
Hear my advice for reader who has asked me that age old question ‘does he still like me?’
