Author Archive

Define the Relationship to help prevent heartache and STIs.

Define The Relationship

One of the big reasons for problems in relationships is when people haven’t had the ‘define the relationship’ chat. Even when people do have the DTR they don’t really do very much defining. So this article is to give you some ideas about how to do this more effectively so that you can avoid unnecessary heartache oh, and STIs.


painful sex: how to have penis in vagina sex without pain

Painful sex – how to have penis in vagina sex without pain

Painful sex is something that a lot of readers contact me about – usually from young women with vaginas experiencing pain after trying penis in vagina sex (also known as intercourse or, to some people, as ‘sex’). So that’s what this is about. I’ll tell you the causes of why sex can be painful which should give you some advice about having sex without pain. A lot of this may also be true for painful anal sex.


choose a chocolate bar

How to Choose a Chocolate Bar

It can hard working out what we want, particularly from sex. Read this about how to choose a chocolate bar. I it might help you have better sex.

Note – this is all about choosing food, so if you are struggling with how you feel about food at the minute give this a miss. Also this might not be great for you if choosing things is something you struggle with a lot.

how to enjoy sex more

How to Enjoy Sex More

There are a million crap articles online about how to enjoy sex more, so thanks for clicking on this one. A lot of sex education and sex advice actually makes it harder to enjoy sex, so here’s some advice that I think will actually help you.


dams how to make your own

Dams

Dams are a thin sheet of latex or plastic which are used when people have oral sex. Although a lot of people would like to use them they are getting very difficult to find. So here is a quick blog about why people use them, and how you can make your own.


How to be attractive. Good and nice advice if you are an incel or struggling with this generally

How To Be Attractive

Here’s some advice for anyone who is struggling with feeling attractive, which includes any incel readers I may have. Don’t worry, I’m not going to yell at you or give you a bollocking. Here’s my best advice instead.

(Sidenote — this stuff is not easy. I know that many of you have tried some of these things. I can’t guarantee that this advice will get you laid, but I can guarantee that it will make your life a bit easier.)


How to Say I Love You (and some tips on how not to say it) BISH sex, love and you for over 14s

How to Say ‘I Love You’

So it’s that time of year again when we’re supposed to wash, put on our best pants, light a fancy candle, drink cans of fanta out of plastic champagne glasses (just me then?) and say ‘I love you’ to someone. Great, but how? Here’s how to say I love you.


consent and the law

Consent and the Law

I get asked about this a lot so here is a guide to consent and the law (in the UK, although it will be similar elsewhere too). Take care reading this if you are a survivor of a sexual assault because I talk about the technical aspects of sexual offences in a little bit of detail. 


Can You Help BISH?

This website is mostly read by young folk (it’s most popular with teens and twenty somethings) who are looking for some top notch advice and information for themselves. However, I also know that there are a few fans of BISH who are here because they are teachers, or academics, or activists, peer sex educators, or parents. So this one is for them. Thanks for coming and I hope you find BISH helpful, but can you also help me?


What is sex - expert answers to frequently asked questions

What Is Sex?

This guide to ‘what is sex’ aims to answer the most frequently asked questions about sex in a simple and short way (although yeah, the whole article is like an essay). I’ve tried to define what each thing is and then give some pointers for how to do them more consensually and safely.


How Do I Go On Top?

How Do I Go On Top?

To go on top without hurting their penis it’s a good idea to make sure that the penis is pretty hard. Then guide it in with your hand. Move slowly at first rather than bouncing up and down like you’re on a trampoline. Then keep checking in with them during sex that it’s comfortable, noticing their body language, facial expressions and how they might guide you with their hands and words. More detail below (obvs).