Author Archive

dams how to make your own


Dams are a thin sheet of latex or plastic which are used when people have oral sex. Although a lot of people would like to use them they are getting very difficult to find. So here is a quick blog about why people use them, and how you can make your own.

How to be attractive. Good and nice advice if you are an incel or struggling with this generally

How To Be Attractive

Here’s some advice for anyone who is struggling with feeling attractive, which includes any incel readers I may have. Don’t worry, I’m not going to yell at you or give you a bollocking. Here’s my best advice instead.

(Sidenote — this stuff is not easy. I know that many of you have tried some of these things. I can’t guarantee that this advice will get you laid, but I can guarantee that it will make your life a bit easier.)

why do people have sex?

Why do people have sex?

So this is some homework for you. Think about all of the different reasons that people might have sex with someone (though solo sex totally counts as sex too). I’ve listed a few things below but just spend a few minutes thinking about all the reasons.

consent and the law

Consent and the Law

I get asked about this a lot so here is a guide to consent and the law (in the UK, although it will be similar elsewhere too). Take care reading this if you are a survivor of a sexual assault because I talk about the technical aspects of sexual offences in a little bit of detail. 

Can You Help BISH?

This website is mostly read by young folk (it’s most popular with teens and twenty somethings) who are looking for some top notch advice and information for themselves. However, I also know that there are a few fans of BISH who are here because they are teachers, or academics, or activists, peer sex educators, or parents. So this one is for them. Thanks for coming and I hope you find BISH helpful, but can you also help me?

What is sex - expert answers to frequently asked questions

What Is Sex?

This guide to ‘what is sex’ aims to answer the most frequently asked questions about sex in a simple and short way (although yeah, the whole article is like an essay). I’ve tried to define what each thing is and then give some pointers for how to do them more consensually and safely.

How Do I Go On Top?

How Do I Go On Top?

To go on top without hurting their penis it’s a good idea to make sure that the penis is pretty hard. Then guide it in with your hand. Move slowly at first rather than bouncing up and down like you’re on a trampoline. Then keep checking in with them during sex that it’s comfortable, noticing their body language, facial expressions and how they might guide you with their hands and words. More detail below (obvs).

painful sex: how to have penis in vagina sex without pain

Painful sex – how to have penis in vagina sex without pain

Painful sex is something that a lot of readers contact me about – usually from young women with vaginas experiencing pain after trying penis in vagina sex (also known as intercourse or, to some people, as ‘sex’). So that’s what this is about. I’ll tell you the causes of why sex can be painful which should give you some advice about having sex without pain. A lot of this may also be true for painful anal sex.

choose a chocolate bar

How to Choose a Chocolate Bar

It can hard working out what we want, particularly from sex. Read this about how to choose a chocolate bar. I it might help you have better sex.

Note – this is all about choosing food, so if you are struggling with how you feel about food at the minute give this a miss. Also this might not be great for you if choosing things is something you struggle with a lot.

Mates before dates. The Bish guide for not putting romantic relationships before friendships

Mates Before Dates

You might be familiar with the idea of mates before dates but you probs call it something else (yeah I’m not using those terms). But basically it’s a reminder to a friend (mate) that they are spending too much time with a romantic person (date) and not enough with them. I think this is actually really great advice.