I get asked about this a lot so here is a guide to consent and the law (in the UK, although it will be similar elsewhere too). Take care reading this if you are a survivor of a sexual assault because I talk about the technical aspects of sexual offences in a little bit of detail.
People often say that first time sex with someone (ever, or someone new), is always a bit rubbish, uncomfortable or even painful. None of this is true (especially the bit about sex being painful for the first time).
This guide to ‘what is sex’ aims to answer the most frequently asked questions about sex in a simple and short way (although yeah, the whole article is like an essay). I’ve tried to define what each thing is and then give some pointers for how to do them more consensually and safely.
Here’s a consent and sex guide that I’ve made for social medias. Can you help me share it?
So this is some homework for you. Think about all of the different reasons that people might have sex with someone (though solo sex totally counts as sex too). I’ve listed a few things below but just spend a few minutes thinking about all the reasons.
A lot of men who have sex with women ask me about lasting longer, but should they? There are better things that men can be doing to help women enjoy sex more.
People often worry that they find masturbation better than sex. So here’s some advice if this is something that you think about.
I often get questions from people who worry about fantasies they are having. Here’s some advice about how to cope with your worries about fantasies and how to explore what they may mean.
Some people like to top and bottom when they have sex, but what is this, who does what and do you have to do it?
To learn how to be good at sex it’s really important to pay attention to the other person. Their noises, eye contact, what they say, how they breathe and how they move. If you pay attention to what’s going on in your body then it’s also more likely that you will enjoy it too.
How to have sex and how to make it good, especially for the first time. It should feel nice, not painful or uncomfortable.
How to masturbate (or wank for UK readers). Not everyone does it (which is chill AF) but having sex by yourself can feel really nice.