Big up you. A fist bump emoji saying that it's okay to big yourself up

Big Up You

Think about your best bits and the bits you’d like to have. Allow it. It’s okay to big up you and to think positively about yourself sometimes.

When was the last time that someone encouraged you to big up you hmm? Well? I think we can get used to thinking about ourselves negatively, “I feel ugly”, “Blimey I’m thick”, “I can’t do this”, “Why do people spend time with me?” etc etc etc. This is about changing that a bit.

Look at this list below and pick out as many qualities which apply to you. Then think of a sentence for (eg) why you are bubbly, think of an example. Write this down somewhere or say it out loud.

Which of these apply to you?

Thinker. Adventurous. Assertive.

Head strong. Level headed. Dramatic.

Mediator. Warm. Wise.

Geeky. Curious. Flexible.

Good listener. Authentic. Good at chat.

Decisive. Reliable. Attentive.

Kind. Fair. Forgiving.

Emotional. Thoughtful. Happy.

Good planner. Party Animal. A dreamer.

Determined. Loud. High standards.

Ambitious. Optimistic. Generous.

Fit. Sceptical. Believer.

Well dressed. Hard worker. Good friend.

Easy going. Foodie. Loving.

Sensible. Smiley. Romantic.

Powerful. Sensitive. Gentle.

Honest. Humour. Ideas person.

Take charge. Informed. Modest.

On time. Bounces back. Responsible.

Bubbly. Lively. Organiser.

Creative. Musical. Neat.

Smart. Big heart. Leader.

Positive. Calm. Excitable.

Giver. Good judge. Passionate.

Mature. Cultured. Funny.

Artistic. Wise. Self belief.

Brave. Open minded. Relaxed.

Assertive. Sociable. Team worker.

Solo star. Good with £. Switched on.

Right on / Woke. Sensitive. Disciplined.

Tolerant. Ethical. Behaves!

Hopeful. Open. Cautious.

Independent. Sincere. Good at banter.

Into safety. In the now. Fun.

Serious. Political. Keep it real.

*Add yours too

This isn’t about replacing negative words for positive ones and it’s definitely not about ‘positive thinking’. Obviously none of us are perfect. There are always things that we could work on to do a bit better. So have a look at the list and pick a few words that you might like to be a bit more of. So for me, although I have good ideas I would like to be a bit more organised and to be better at planning things.

Thinking of yourself as being pretty okay but not perfect is a pretty good way of thinking of yourself, I reckon

Many of us have inner critics in our heads telling us that we can’t do things and we’ll never achieve anything – I know I do. Don’t fight the inner voice – just acknowledge it and allow for a more positive self assessment of who you are, what you can do and where you’d like to go.

Also check out the BISH guide to self esteem and feeling better about ourselves.

If you’re thinking about dating and who you’d like to date try this version.

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© Justin Hancock, 2023

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Justin Hancock has been a trained sex and relationships educator since 1999. In that time he’s taught and given advice about sex and relationships with thousands of young people in person and millions online. He’s a member of the World Association for Sexual Health.

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