Advice about how avoiding rejection is just another way of experiencing rejection.
Hi, i m 15. i’ve never had a girlfriend before and i know that it isn’t my image or my qualities that make this happen. I only started desiring a relationship with a girl 2-3 years ago, due to a silly approach that i had towards these kind of things. I basically thought that relationships are for later life, and that for that time, i had to focus on studies, etc. Even though i’ve dropped this belied nowadays, i think that this delay in such affairs have resulted in not feeling comfortable. I’ve really liked 2-3 girls the last 2 years, but i haven’t told it to them in the right way, because of shyness, etc. even though i’ve improved a little in terms of confidence, i don’t want to do the same mistakes again. Do you think that the only thing i can do to improve myself is the self-esteem thing, or what other ways are there that can help me? thanks in advance
I think it’s partly down to self-esteem but probably also believing in yourself as being someone that other people could find attractive. Saying ‘I like you’ can make us feel very vulnerable because there is a risk of rejection and this can be a very difficult feeling to manage. Sex and relationships always involves an element of risk, anything potentially exciting does. If you don’t tell these girls that you like them then you are never taking the risk which means that you aren’t being rejected but you also aren’t going out with them either. If they don’t know you like them then how are they supposed to know? If they like you back they’ll be so happy that you’ve said something: imagine that! If they don’t like you back don’t worry, it’s just chemistry.
Go on, take the risk.