How to Kiss

They make kissing look well easy on telly, but to start with it can be awkward. Here are some ideas on how to do it.

Kissing is often the first sexual experience that people have and is also often the first sexual experience they have with someone new.

But to start with it can be awkward. When you see people snog on the telly they don’t usually bang noses, or get hair trapped in their mouth, or dribble a bit too much saliva, or get a crick in their neck or accidentally bite each other. Like most things it gets better with practise and the best way to practise kissing is to find one person and kiss them a lot. But here are a few tips that might help:

Snog someone you fancy

Sounds obvious I know but a lot of people just snog anyone and then wonder why it is that it wasn’t that great. The best kisses happen from kissing someone you fancy. The thought of kissing them makes you excited, you look at them or think about them and think ‘phwoar’ or ‘NOM’ or ‘Mmmmmm’.

And, obviously, they need to really want to kiss you too yeah?

Will your breath kill them?

Even if you kiss someone you fancy, bad breath can be a big passion killer. Good oral hygiene is important here, so you aren’t subjecting your snog partner to particles of KFC you had 2 days ago – brush your teeth twice a day. You might not be snogging someone just after breakfast or just before you go to bed (and carrying a toothbrush around with you in case of kissing emergencies is probably not hot), so perhaps consider packing some chewing gum. Sometimes just drinking some water can help make your mouth taste ok.

Try to have fresh(ish) breath, but remember everyone has their own taste or smell.

But but but, you are not going to taste of nothing. We all have tastes and smells that might not taste exactly like Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie. If you’re planning on spending any time up close and personal with another person you will have to accept that. We need to do our best to stay clean and fresh, but sexy times involve smells and tastes that we might not be used to.

Maybe start slowly?

There are any great killer techniques that always work with kissing. As with everything with sex, everyone is different and the only way to find out what you and someone else likes is to ask. However the only technique tip I will offer is to maybe start off slowly. Pout your lips. Gradually you can start to open up a little bit so that you can feel the inner part of their lips on yours.

Everyone is different so there aren’t any killer techniques that always work.

Then gradually you might want to touch the inner part of their lips with your tongue, then their teeth, then your tongue might come into contact with theirs. Some people then stick their tongues deep inside each others mouths, moving them around each other, tasting each other. Sometimes people like to suck or nibble their lips or tongue. It can be slow, or fast, or gentle or hard.

When you get to this stage, if it feels good, do it (as my driving instructor used to say*) but you also need to pay attention to whether it’s something you both want.

Talk while you snog

It’s great to hear feedback on your partner enjoying the snog. This can be done mid-kiss with ‘mmmmmmmmm’ noises (which feels nice because it kind of vibrates against one’s lips). It can also be done by unlocking your mouths once in a while to look at each other close up and smile, before starting again. You can whisper words or short phrases too, to give feedback on the snog or to ask for something.

If something is happening that you aren’t into then you can stop. It’s important that even with kissing that everyone is happy and agreeing to it.

Your hands

Unless you want to, you don’t just have to stand there with your arms by your sides not touching each other. Holding hands, face, hips, arms, lower back, back of the head (pushing you closer to each other) can be great. Stroking arms, elbows, sides, chest, shoulders, back, neck. Playing with hair, stroking the ear, the neck and even pointing to where you would like to be kissed.

“Kiss my …”

Kissing is not just for the mouth. Kissing the ear, neck, shoulder, hands, wrists, arms can feel great for some people. It’s nice to change things now and again and try different things, but can also feel good just to do the same thing for hours.

Enjoy this snog, not another

All kisses and all kissers are not the same. So rather than just trying to have the same snog you always have, or being told how to kiss by people like me, try to be ‘in the moment’ and go with what feels good for you both right now. Remember a snog is a shared thing, not just one person doing something to another.

If you want to do other stuff too you might find my What Is Sex? article useful and here’s some advice on how to Enjoy Sex More.


* I still haven’t passed my driving test

© Justin Hancock 2015

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