Ask Bish - Your Sex and Relationships Questions Answered

Ask Bish: Friends With Benefits

Friends with benefits. I feel like it’s time to call it quits because all along I’ve had serious feelings for him and I’ve realized this is never going to escalate to anything further. How can I end this while maintaining my dignity and keeping my friend?


Well it might not necessarily be over. It might be that he feels the same way, or it might be that he feels the same way but not realise it yet.

Advice time. Tell him that you want more than ‘fwb’ and that you can’t offer the benefits unless he truly feels the same. It might be that once the sex stops he realises that he wants more.

If he does, then agree that you are ‘going out’, if not then you’ll have to try and be friends.

Whether you keep him as a friend depends on whether you were really friends to begin with and how you would feel about him going out with someone else. You’ll get over him after enough time and it will feel like a mini-break up I’m afraid.

You’re more likely to put the friendship at risk if you carry on.

Stick to your position and play hard. Friends with benefits is great if that’s what you want. It isn’t, so don’t.

Short and brutal: hope this helps.