Ask Bish - Your Sex and Relationships Questions Answered

Ask Bish Should I have sex tomorrow?

Ok I rlly need help with this well this guy and I just started dating but I been liking him for a long time and knew him for a long time same on his side to well he said he wants to do stuff tomorrow and go to his house and have sex I mean I want to and I rlly like him and trust him but I’m scared about my body and if I should wait since I’m only 16 but I want to just know how it feels and get it over with and he wants to do it to he keeps saying it . Bc tomorrow our parents will be home at 5 plz help me!

Hi, thanks for your question – here’s a quick response because I’ve written about some of this stuff elsewhere on the site, please read all of the links because I think they will really help you.

I really think you should read Should I Have Sex? It will give you some questions that you need to ask yourself about whether you are ready to have sex or not. I can’t tell you what you are ready for and whether it’s right for you. Have you considered talking about this with someone you trust (parent, other family member, friend)? It can sometimes be great to talk these things through with someone who knows you, who will listen and provide you with some sound advice – rather than some sex educator living in London whom you’ve never met.

If you do decide to have sex, remember that there is a LOT more to sex than someone putting their penis/fingers/sex toy inside someone. Think about what kind of sex you might want and what you don’t. Take it slowly and start off with kissing and touching each other.

You mention feeling scared about your body. All the more reason to go slowly. Not many people are that confident about their body the first time they take their clothes off with another person. These worries can be eased the longer you know the other person, the more you trust them and feel safe with them. Slowly exploring each others bodies (over time) can make us feel more comfortable and can also be very very sexy. You also don’t have to immediately rip your clothes off. You can keep all your clothes on (lots of people like to dry hump, which is where you grind your bodies together with all your clothes on – maybe take your coat off) or some of them. You can also keep the curtains drawn and the lights low.

Remember everything you do should be a choice, only do something if you think that you are going to enjoy it. I think reading this advice I gave to someone a couple of days ago will help you.

Also, you don’t need to have an answer for him by 5pm tomorrow. Take your time with this decision. Look at all your options and remember that if you do choose to have sex (whatever that might be) try to make it safer.

Hope this helps. Do check in again and say whether it did help.

Justin (Bish)

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