does a condom kill the mood?

Does a Condom Kill the Mood?

Why does using a condom kill the mood and why I think that this is actually a good thing?


Condoms can kill the mood a little bit because putting them on can slow things down. In the time it takes to find the condom, open it, get it the right way round, pinch the end and roll it on can take some people a while. In that time it’s easy for an erection to disappear and for it to totally spoil the mood. The struggle is real and this is why I’ve written some top tips here about how to put on a condom more quickly and smoothly.

If you practice maybe you can be as quick as me ????????????????????????

#condomchallenge #condom #condoms #bish #SexEd #sexadvice

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but even if you do it still might cause a break in proceedings. Which is actually a good thing.

It’s Good to Kill the Mood

They say that sex is supposed to be seamless and one thing just naturally leads to another. Well that’s just bollocks. Condoms do spoil the mood and I think this is great.

Using condoms gives everyone an opportunity to be like ‘would we like to do this?’ or even ‘okay, this is happening: chill.’ So as well as preventing STIs and pregnancy, using them on penises and sex toys (and also gloves on hands too if you want to be super careful) can actually help with consent.

Read more on why it’s sometimes good that sex is awkward

That’s not to say that every time someone uses a condom for sex it’s consensual – of course it isn’t. However it does at least give everyone at least a few seconds of opportunity to check in with each other about whether this something they wanted to do.

It’s important that you use this opportunity to check in that this is okay because you’re putting something inside the body of someone else (or the other way around). Think about that, you’re putting something inside someone else. Touching someone externally is a very very different thing to touching someone internally. So either ask directly, or pay attention to each other’s body language and gestures to make sure that everything is fine.

Read: the one trick for being really good at sex

Maybe It’s The Sex, Not The Condoms

Many people struggle with condoms really really badly. They find that their mood gets so spoiled that they or their partner or both go off the idea totally. That’s why I’ve got that really great advice about how to make it easier which is so good that I AM LINKING TO IT AGAIN RIGHT NOW.

However if you regularly get de-sexed in the seconds it takes to get a condom out and put it on then maybe it’s not the condoms – maybe it’s the sex. Here’s that regular reminder that although everyone seems to think sex = ?? it’s a) not and b) not what a lot of people actually like. Maybe even most.

So if this is you I have great news for you: you can do something else. You can try one of the many hundreds of other sexy things – many of which don’t even need condoms. DOUBLE WIN!

Comment below if you like. I moderate all comments before they appear, just so you know!

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© Justin Hancock, 2024 Find out more about me and BISH here.

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I’ve been a sex and relationships educator since 1999 (with a background in youth and community work). In that time I’ve taught and given advice about sex and relationships with thousands of young people in person and millions online. I’ve worked with many charities, local governments, schools and youth organisations facilitating training and workshops. My two books, Enjoy Sex (How, When, and If You Want To) and Can We Talk About Consent? are widely available around the world. I’ve been on the telly and the radio and have written articles for newspapers and magazines. I’m also a member of the World Association for Sexual Health. Read more about me and BISH here. Find out about my other work here Justin Hancock

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3 thoughts on “Does a Condom Kill the Mood?

  1. The BISH UK article on whether condoms “kill the mood” is a valuable resource for anyone concerned about the impact of condom use on sexual pleasure. The article provides helpful tips on how to make using condoms feel more comfortable and intimate, including incorporating them into foreplay and communication with partners. The emphasis on prioritizing safety and pleasure in sexual relationships is crucial, and this article offers practical solutions to make condom use a positive experience. It’s a must-read for anyone looking to navigate safe sex practices while still enjoying a fulfilling sexual experience.

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