Does a Condom Kill the Mood?

Why does using a condom kill the mood and why I think that this is actually a good thing?

Yes

Condoms can kill the mood a little bit because putting them on can slow things down. In the time it takes to find the condom, open it, get it the right way round, pinch the end and roll it on can take some people a while. In that time it’s easy for an erection to disappear and for it to totally spoil the mood. The struggle is real and this is why I’ve written some top tips here about how to put on a condom more quickly and smoothly.

If you practice maybe you can be as quick as me ????????????????????????

#condomchallenge #condom #condoms #bish #SexEd #sexadvice

A post shared by Justin (@bishsexed) on Jul 3, 2017 at 9:53am PDT

but even if you do it still might cause a break in proceedings. Which is actually a good thing.

It’s Good to Kill the Mood

They say that sex is supposed to be seamless and one thing just naturally leads to another. Well that’s just bollocks. Condoms do spoil the mood and I think this is great.

Using condoms gives everyone an opportunity to be like ‘would we like to do this?’ or even ‘okay, this is happening: chill.’ So as well as preventing STIs and pregnancy, using them on penises and sex toys (and also gloves on hands too if you want to be super careful) can actually help with consent.

Read more on why it’s sometimes good that sex is awkward

That’s not to say that every time someone uses a condom for sex it’s consensual – of course it isn’t. However it does at least give everyone at least a few seconds of opportunity to check in with each other about whether this something they wanted to do.

It’s important that you use this opportunity to check in that this is okay because you’re putting something inside the body of someone else (or the other way around). Think about that, you’re putting something inside someone else. Touching someone externally is a very very different thing to touching someone internally. So either ask directly, or pay attention to each other’s body language and gestures to make sure that everything is fine.

Read: the one trick for being really good at sex

Maybe It’s The Sex, Not The Condoms

Many people struggle with condoms really really badly. They find that their mood gets so spoiled that they or their partner or both go off the idea totally. That’s why I’ve got that really great advice about how to make it easier which is so good that I AM LINKING TO IT AGAIN RIGHT NOW.

However if you regularly get de-sexed in the seconds it takes to get a condom out and put it on then maybe it’s not the condoms – maybe it’s the sex. Here’s that regular reminder that although everyone seems to think sex = ?? it’s a) not and b) not what a lot of people actually like. Maybe even most.

So if this is you I have great news for you: you can do something else. You can try one of the many hundreds of other sexy things – many of which don’t even need condoms. DOUBLE WIN!

© Justin Hancock, 2025 Find out more about me and BISH here.

I’ve been a trained sex and relationships educator since 1999. I’m a member of the World Association for Sexual Health. As well as BISH I also have resources, a podcast, and a coaching service for over 18s, as well as some of the best RSE teaching resources around. Find out out about my other work at justinhancock.co.uk. My work has featured (positively) in the media, like the BBC, Financial Times, The Economist, The Guardian, Sky One, and Novara Media.

What Else Can I Help You With?

There’s a comment box below (scroll down) if you want to give me feedback or ask a question (don’t leave your full name and I pre-moderate all comments). Or you can ask me a question here.

Or …

Search by category

Or you can search by tags

A-Z of Porn About You Abuse Arousal Ask Bish Body Image Clitoris Communication Condoms Consent Contraception Coronavirus Dry Humping Ejaculation Erection Feelings Friendships Gender Kissing Law Love Masturbation Oral Sex Orgasm Parents Penis Pleasure Porn Positions Pregnancy Pressure Relationships Safer Sex Saying No Self Care Self Esteem Services Sex Education Sexting STIs Teach yourself Team Bish The Right Time Trust Vagina

If you have a question that I’ve not already answered you can contact me here

What do you think about BISH?

I’d love your feedback about the website please! I’m doing a PhD research project at Nottingham Trent University about BISH and it’s really important for me to get your thoughts about it. There’s a short survey here. It will just take around 10 minutes. It would really help me to help you, so it would be great if you could take part. 

[Practitioners, although this website isn’t aimed at you, I’m keen to hear your thoughts about BISH too as you may have made use of it in your work. If you do work in or around relationships and sexuality education could you do this survey instead please. Thank you!]

Here’s How To Stay Updated With BISH

Most of my readers like to stay updated via email. So sign up here and get an automatic email every time I post a new resource on here.

And you can also keep up with me via social medias. I’m not an influencer, I put all my time into this website and also I think people trust sites like this more than social media. So I’m not very active on there but I try to post when I’ve done a new thing. TikTok. Instagram. Twitter (I’ve kind of stopped posting there now). YouTube. You could also follow me on Reddit if you like (just starting out, so tell me which sub-reddits you’d like to see me post in).

Funding and Support

This website is only funded by people like you who find it useful. As you can see, there are no ads, it’s all free, and I’m not really selling you anything (apart from my book, which is great). Here are all of the ways you can support BISH from just £1 a month and help keep this website going. Or just send me a quid to my PayPal right now! Thank you so much 🙂