Ask Bish - Your Sex and Relationships Questions Answered

Ask Bish – If I’m 16 and she’s 15 is it against the law?

Whether under age sex against the law is different to what actually happens. I explain more here.

 

I have been with my girlfriend for about 8 months (we are both 15) and have started to have consensual and protected sex. I know you have said it is highly unlikely that any underage consented sex involving people of similar ages would be prosecuted, but what will happen when I turn 16 and she is still 15? Would this be considered statutory rape? And if so, would I be prosecuted if we were found out? Thanks for the unbiased and informative advice, it’s truly been very helpful.

Hiya. Thanks for the nice thing you said. That’s great to hear.

Thanks for your question too. I like questions.

So there’s a difference between what the law says about sex under 16 and what actually happens in practice.

The law (Sexual Offences Act 2003 s.9 – s.13) says that you can’t have sexual activity with someone under the age of 16. She’s having sex with a 15 year old and so are you so you are both breaking the law. When you turn 16 it will just be you breaking the law because she’ll be having sex with someone is 16 and you’ll be having sex with someone who is 15. You can be guilty of these offences even if you are under 18 although the penalties for people found guilty of this are more serious for over 18s (s.13).

That’s what the law says, but this is what the Crown Prosecution Service says about what actually happens in practice:

“children of the same or similar age are highly unlikely to be prosecuted for engaging in sexual activity, where the activity is mutually agreed and there is no abuse or exploitation.” (quote taken from here)

So, from what you’ve said, it sounds like it would be highly unlikely for you to be prosecuted, even though you’ll be the only person breaking the law. Young people your age are sometimes prosecuted for these offences but only in cases of abuse, non-consent, coercion, abuse of power, big age gaps, bullying or harassment. So long as your relationship isn’t any of those things then the police won’t press charges.

I hope that gives you the information you need.

You might want to maybe chat with each other about this? Perhaps you could both read this response together?

Also do you chat to your parents/carers about your relationship? Parents react in different ways to hearing that their kids are in sexual relationships but mostly they are pretty supportive (in my experience).

Hope this helps.

Justin

 

12 thoughts on “Ask Bish – If I’m 16 and she’s 15 is it against the law?

  1. So my girlfriend is 15 and I’m 16, we weren’t planing on having sexual intercourse however we were planning on masturbating each other and stuff like that….. is that illegal even if intercourse wouldn’t happen?

    1. Technically it would be illegal for you (in the UK) because you are 16. Under age sex applies to pretty much any kind of sex. However the Police have been instructed not to prosecute under age sex where there are clearly no signs of coercion, power imbalance, abuse, or lack of consent. More on this here

    1. It depends where you are in the world, but in the UK the answer is yes. However, as I explain here it would be unusual for the Police to prosecute.

  2. I am 15 and my boyfriend is 16 and his dad is threatening to go to the police even tho we haven’t done anything sexual is he going to get into trouble?

    1. The Police will only be interested in prosecuting a case if there was evidence of a power imbalance, lack of consent, threats or anything like that. Also, as you say, there has to have been sex (of some kind). Why is the dad threatening to go to the police?

  3. Hi, i am 16 years old and my girlfriend is 14 years old.She is two years younger than me. If we were to partake in sexual activity would I be breaking the law and if we were found out would charges be pressed?

    1. Hi
      As I said above, it would depend on the view of anyone investigating. Usually this kind of age gap relationship would only be investigated if there was any suspected abuse, non-consensual behaviour, bullying or harassment. A lot of this is down to the opinion of the local Police or social services too.

      I guess the thing for you to think about is how you can make sure that you are as consensual as possible at all times. That means giving your girlfriend lots of options and making sure that you are always thinking about whether she is wanting to be in this kind of relationship at all. There are lots of posts here to help you with that. https://www.bishuk.com/relationships/power-in-relationships/ https://www.bishuk.com/sex/first-time-sex/ https://www.bishuk.com/relationships/talking-about-talking/ https://www.bishuk.com/about-you/metoo-useful-things-men-can/ and loads more.

      Justin

  4. I have a boyfriend who is 16 and I am 15 (there’s only a year difference) we are having sex and we both agree to it.Is this illegal

    1. Yes technically your boyfriend would be breaking the law. But if you both are clearly agreeing to do it and you’re in a relationship it’s very unlikely that you will get into trouble.

  5. I’m16 and me and this girl who is 15 have bin off and on for a couple of weeks and we are having sex but there’s this one time where she didn’t fully give consent and is regretting it what should I do and how can I get in trouble

    1. If she didn’t fully give consent then it’s against the law (and wrong) no matter what age she is. Can I suggest that you read some of the articles on here about consent. http://www.bishuk.com/tag/consent/ Perhaps you could ask her how she is feeling, say you are sorry for fucking up and ask her if there is anything you can do to make her feel better (which could include leaving her alone). Hope that’s useful.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.