Pregnancy worries from a couple who had penis in vagina sex without a condom but didn’t ejaculate
My boyfriend and I have been wanting to have sex for a while , but I haven’t been ready because I’ve been worried about possibly getting pregnant, etc. (I’m 16.) Yesterday we wanted to but he didn’t have a condom and we weren’t going to do it without one. Neither of us had done it before , and we just wanted to see what it felt like. We knew we couldn’t really “fully” do it, so we just put it in for a few seconds. I was on top of him (if that makes any difference at all) I only kind of went up and down two or three times gently, and he was only inside me 10-20 (?) seconds. He definitely didn’t come in me, but I’ve now learned that I could still become pregnant from it. We didn’t know that at the time, but he told his mom today and she said that there’s still a 50% chance, and I’ve been looking it up and everything does say it’s still possible. I feel really stupid , but he’s 15 and I’m 16 and we really didn’t know it was possible. It seemed completely safe. The other thing is that I was on my period. It started around Tuesday I think (this is Sunday), so yesterday (Saturday) was like the 5th day. It was the last day, I actually thought it would be over by then or at least not as heavy, but there was still a fair amount of blood. But today it’s pretty much completely over. I’m not sure if that is relevant at all, I just know there’s a slim chance of getting pregnant while on your period, but it was the last day, so that’s why I’m questioning it. I’m pretty freaked out, I didn’t anticipate any of this happening. I’m trying to stay calm and consider that 1. I was on my period so it might reduce the risk a little 2. if any semen did get in me, it’s still not a guarantee I’ll get pregnant and 3. it may not have even gotten in me at all. So I know (I think) the chances of me being pregnant are not very high, I’m still really worried. I know you can’t tell me if I am or not, I just thought I’d see what your thoughts were on this. Thanks.
Thanks for your great question which you’ve kind of already answered. You clearly know your stuff about sex ed despite not knowing about the (very very) small risks of pregnancy from penis in vagina sex without ejaculation. We all have gaps in our knowledge about stuff, I learnt something new about tampons the other day and this is my job! (though to be fair, I don’t have a vagina)
I agree with your 1.2.3.
1. Sex during a period is one of the less likely times that someone can get pregnant, however this very much depends on how long your menstrual cycle is. If you have a very short cycle (usually) then sex towards the end of a period could be getting into the your fertile time. However if you are more like a ‘once every 28 days’ kinda person then it won’t be. Remember cycles can be totally random, especially for teens, so try not to get too worried if your period is late or early.
2. Even if semen did get inside you it’s still unlikely that you will be pregnant. If you were trying to get pregnant, the advice you would get is to have lots of penis in vagina sex (ejaculating fully inside the vagina) for a year or two. During that period it is likely that you will get pregnant. Some find they get pregnant really quickly, others not. Since you only did it once and he didn’t ejaculate it is very unlikely that you are pregnant. That’s not to say it’s impossible but his mum simply isn’t right to say it’s a 50% chance.
If he did come inside you then it would be around 3.1% chance (between 0% and 9%). As he didn’t come inside you then it would be closer to zero percent. I explain more about this and the risk of pregnancy from pre-cum (which is very very low) here.
3. Yup it’s probably that semen didn’t get inside you. Although you only need one sperm to fertilise an egg, when ejaculation happens between 50 and 300 million sperm are released. There *may* be a chance of a few hundred sperm being at the tip of his penis in pre ejaculatory fluid but maybe not. Also that sperm is probably not the best equipped to fertilise an egg because they aren’t fresh sperm and are in a fluid that isn’t semen (sperm needs semen to help swim and to feed on).
One thing you haven’t mentioned is the risk of STIs. If either of you have had unprotected sexual experiences with other people before (or you have an infection which you didn’t get sexually but can pass on sexually) then there is a risk of giving each other infections if you have penis in vagina sex without a condom. It’s much easier to get an STI from what you describe than get pregnant.
So I hope this gives you a bit of re-assurance. Think about what you are going to take away from this experience for the future. How can you have sexy times with the boyf and have a really low risk of pregnancy/STIs? If you don’t have condoms how can you have mutual lovely sex which is low risk?
Let me know how you get on! Post a comment below if you like.
PS Lots of people are reading this and then asking me if they are pregnant. Hopefully this graphic will help you (you’re probably not).
Please don’t post a comment asking me to tell you how likely it is whether you are pregnant or not. I can’t give you any more re-assurance than I already have here. Sorry.
Here are a few more articles that might help
How to deal with stress – in case you are stressed about pregnancy
Emergency contraception – in case you had unprotected sex in the last 5 days
A lot of people below are talking about painful first time sex. Sex should not hurt, first time or anytime. Plan for better sex by reading this post about first time sex and read this about painful sex and how to avoid it.
Also is your partner putting you at risk of pregnancy?
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© Justin Hancock, 2022
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Justin Hancock has been a trained sex and relationships educator since 1999. In that time he’s taught and given advice about sex and relationships with thousands of young people in person and millions online. He’s a member of the World Association for Sexual Health.